This Blog is Your Power Animal

My New Hog

2007-04-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well I've done it... I've officially become as cool as any one human being can possibly be. I now own a motorcycle. Team that with being a drummer in a rock band, a comedic genius (some say visionary), and having a hot girlfriend and I don't see how my, or any other human's coolness level could possibly get any higher. This is quite the departure from the scooter I just sold yesterday. There was something very gorilla-on-a-bicycle about seeing my reflection in the windows of buildings as I passed by at a tentative 35 mph.

But I sold the scooter yesterday to a nice girl on Capital Hill. Her offer of "$1,500 and some free burlesque shows" was too good to pass up. So this morning I took my newly acquired wad of cash and even more newly acquired motorcycle endorsement to the good people at Lynnwood Cycle Barn. The bike I wanted to look at was listed on the website but not even on the floor yet. I took it for a test ride and was hooked.

It's a 1998 Honda Shadow Aero 1100. Only had about 6,000 miles on it and was in excellent shape. A couple of small dents in the front fender, but nothing too traumatizing. It's pretty fuckin' tough looking though, and it sounds pretty burly too.

So, I bought the bike (talked them down about $2,000 on the price) and decided to ride it home. About 10 miles into my 20 mile ride home the back tire starts to feel a little squirrely. I remembered how the previous weekend my motorcycle safety class instructor had said how rare it was for a motorcycle to get a flat (or did he say blow out) so I didn't think much of it. Finally when I was within a mile of home I looked back and saw that my rear tire was almost all the way flat. Turns out I picked up a nail somewhere along the way, so that sucks.

So instead of cruising around on my new ride I'm sitting at home. I'll have to figure out a way to get the tire fixed tomorrow. Turns out the only motorcycle shop around that is open tomorrow is the one I bought it from, so I'm going to need to get it over there somehow. Flat tires are distinctly UN-cool but it's going to need to do better than that if there's any hope of me being even remotely close to regular coolness ever again.

Stop what you are doing, go out and buy these albums... NOW!

2007-03-29T17:24:00.000-07:00

Of Montreal
Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?

Menomena
Friend and Foe

Modest Mouse
We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank

Arcade Fire
Neon Bible

...that is all...

Mumbai or Bust...

2007-03-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

So I've slipped into a once-a-month pattern for this blog thing. Couldn't say why. It could be that I am now no longer working from home so I can't waste time to blog while I should be working. As it so happens I get a ton more work done now that I don't have the option of surfing the web all day long.

It could also be that every other weekend for the last month I've been spending my time in the wonderful little town of Black Diamond, Washington. There isn't fuck-all going on in this hick-a-palooza town except for the studio we spend our time at recording the forthcoming Skeletons EP. We don't have a title yet so suggestions are welcome... we won't use any of them but I like to hear your attempts at comedy, so suggest away!

But here we are, bloggin' once more. So here's what I want to talk about... outsourcing. My job is going to be outsourced in the next 6 months or so to this company in India. (Note that their name is Tata Consulting, the irony is certainly not lost on me.) I'm certainly not married to this job but it's still sort of disheartening to hear that it doesn't really matter how good a job you might be doing as an employee/ team/ department, there are people who can be paid $7 an hour with no benefits to do the same thing in another country. Our company had record profits last year... they said so themselves. But still, every department is being looked into for outsourcing and my guess is most of the ones that don't involve working face-to-face or over the phone with the customer will be moved to somewhere in the eastern or possibly southern hemisphere. We've had plenty of meetings, bulletins, etc. keeping us informed of how well the team working on putting us out of our jobs is doing. Lots of harmless sounding acronyms are being thrown around (BPO, FTE), pleasant words are being said about how this "doesn't have anything to do with what a great job you're doing", and all the while we collectively moo as we are herded to the slaughterhouse. I say this as if there was much we could do at this point. There isn't... they said so themselves. I have only been with the company a little while. I can't imagine how betrayed the people who have worked there for a long time feel. Some people are retiring and this might be a blessing in disguise, but most aren't

I don't really have a long rant about this. I could. But I won't. What I will say is this... this is where capitalism fails. In a global economy where everyone is working to help their bottom line, it would be almost stupid to not outsource. That is, of course, unless you take a little less short sighted view of economic stability in this country (something capitalism generally isn't too keen on.) Who in country is going to buy these products and services when less and less of us have decent paying jobs?

Anyway, I'm hoping to make it big (or at least big enough to quit my day job) as a musician, so what do I care.

Birthday wishes

2007-02-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note... two of my favorite historical figure's where born on this day. I think that warrant's this quick note. Also, a third favorite died on this day... a moment of silence and then on to the comedy.

Abraham Lincoln
02/12/1809 - 04/15/1865

Charles Darwin
02/12/1809 - 04/19/1882

Screamin' Jay Hawkins
07/18/1929 - 02/12/2000

Who would win in a fight I wonder? I'd be inclined to say Screamin' Jay would. I mean, the guy was obviously nuts, and that usually makes for a good fight. Just look at Mike Tyson.

But then again I might just put my money on Lincoln. Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight ’til they’re burger.

I'd take bets if it wasn't for the whole them-being-dead thing.

---

I found this video and wanted to share. Nothing I can say will top this kind of comedy. For those of you who don't know who Robert Novak is... you should. He's a ball of laughs.

Welcome to the 19th Century!

2007-01-31T18:04:00.000-08:00

That's right ladies and germs. We have arrived!

So ask yourselves this... What's the one thing that we 20 somethings rarely own, and almost always desperately need? A thing that I NOW OWN?

No, not a suped up Honda Civic. Not even a life time supply of Ramen noodles.

A DISHWASHER!

Oh glorious day! I don't think it's possible for me to be more giddy about owning any other household appliance... wait, does a hot tub count as a household appliance? Anyway... yours truly is now the proud owner of a GE Nautilus™ Convertible Dishwasher. Now a chore that would normally take me 1.5 hours (or 3 weeks depending on how you measure it) takes just minutes. That leaves plenty more time to sit in front of the computer, avoiding any real exercise or human interaction.

I am thinking about starting a dish washing service. Say $5 a load... Any takers?

Diamond Dave Lives!

2007-01-25T16:06:00.000-08:00

So I just found out that it's official, Van Halen are touring this summer with David Lee Roth. How cool is that? Now, other than the fact that this is a terrible idea, THIS IS A GREAT IDEA! Unfortunately they will probably not make it through 3 nights before some punches are thrown, but I'd still pay a good chunk of money to go see it. Let's hope Seattle is somewhere in those 3 nights.

But my definition of "a good chunk of money" is undoubtedly different than most. Maybe I'd go as high as say... $75. Maybe a little more depending on when and where it is. I have a hard time shelling out that kind of money for anything that is not a bit more permanent than 3 hours of loud music. The most I paid for a show was something like $50 to see Radiohead at the White Horse Amphitheater a few years back. And, as good as it was, I still felt like $50 was a little steep even though I like Radiohead quite a bit more than Van Halen.

"But that makes no God damned sense!" you may be saying. "Why would you pay more to see a band of geriatric egomaniacs than a band of mumbling Brittish egomaniacs?" Well, there's historical value first. It's been so long since David Lee Roth has been with VH that it makes it seem more appealing. 10 years if you count the brief bit of time they got back together in the late 1990's. We've had to endure 11 years of Sammy "Red Rocker" Hagar and even one album with that girly sounding dude from the band Extreme. It's like if you went 10 years with only eating white rice and water and suddenly got a hamburger, it would probably taste better than a steak you could get anytime you wanted.

Plus, maybe they'll fight on stage and it'll be funny, or DLR will try and do the jumps splits and break a hip or something. Either way, well worth the money.

There are a few bands that fit into this category for me. Along with Van Halen there's the Police, the Cars (maybe), Neutral Milk Hotel (who I've only recently discovered and would almost certainly never get back together), Nirvana and the Beatles (you know, if it wasn't for that whole being dead thing.)

So, to the 3 readers of this blog, who would you pay upwards of $80 to see if they got back together or weren't dead?

My Happy Holidays

2006-12-29T12:21:00.000-08:00

So the three people who actually visit my little website here have been on me to post something to move the picture of my broken tooth off the front page and I have been remiss in my duties. Once again, the reasons I started a blog (peer pressure and "in-group" thinking) rear their ugly heads. But a few interesting things have happened since November 18th so I thought I'd go ahead and post them.

First, Thanksgiving...
I've always liked Thanksgiving much more than Christmas. I don't really know why. It just feels like there is less pressure on Thanksgiving... a bit more genuine. Unfortunately it's sort of turned into a Christmas prequel of late in this country. Maybe something like

XMAS: The Beginning...
a Jerry Bruckheimer production.
Starring Dolph Lundgren and Tracy Ullman

I can picture it now.

We had TG dinner at our house this year because of a gig here in town that same weekend that made driving 3 and a half hours seem less appealing. The original plan was to go to Kendra's family's place somewhere in town but we decided to skip that and just have some friends and Kendra's mom over here. It was good. The turkey turned out really well and the fixin's were great. Kendra and her mom did an excellent job. Neal and his lady friend also brought some delicious day old cookies that were quite amazing.

After dinner I jokingly suggested that we turn the lights off and spend the rest of the evening gathered around my Parker Brothers Ouija Board (I couldn't tell you why). This idea was rejected for the opposite reason I imagined. Apparently a lot of people I know, and some I don't, seem to believe that spirits not only exist (they don't) but contacting them is possible (it's not), and is also a really bad idea. And apparently the good people over at Parker Brothers seem to have created a device to bridge the gap between the real and "spirit world." Pretty sweet huh? And I bought the thing at the mall for only $14.99. Killer deal.

Then San Francisco...
A couple of weeks after that we took a 4 day trip down to San Francisco to visit Starla, a good friend of Kendra's. It was a blast. We drove down to Monterey Bay and went to the awesome aquarium there, ate some really good Mexican food in the Mission District, rode bikes to the Embarcadero and went ice skating, hung out for a short time at Twin Peaks and the Haight, and just generally had a really good time.

And Lastly, Christmas...
Then came the long 3 week wait until Christmas. It was pretty standard. Driving 3 and a half hours to visit family, shopping at the last minute, shoving various sweets and poultry into my face until I almost felt sick... about par for the course.

Presents of note include DVDs of the 1980 PBS series Cosmos, Marty's last bottle of his home brewed Imperial Stout, and a telescope that allows me to spy on people who aren't even my neighbors. Unfortunately they're upside down as I look at them but I like to do my spying hanging from the ceiling anyways.

Tonight is Geoff and Julie's new years party which should be good. The band is supposed to play even though this house is not at all the right set up to have a party with a band. We're hoping that everyone will just get drunk early and not mind if we do the same rather than making loud noise in the basement... we'll see.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Now Spit!!!!

2006-11-18T13:48:00.000-08:00

So today was dentist visit 3 or 4 in the last month and a half, and that sucks. I hadn't been in maybe 6 or 7 years, so there was a lot of catching up we had to do. But the main reason I had to go was that I broke off a chunk of tooth about a year and a half ago (pictured here with a dime for scale.) I hadn't seen anyone about it until it started hurting like a son-of-a-bitch and I could no longer enjoy the ice cream and salt water taffy which I love so dearly.

In the end, it was decided that I needed a root canal, which I had about two weeks ago. In case you hadn't heard, root canals rank somewhere between soccer ball to the groin and a 10 hour flight from L.A. to New York, sandwiched between a fat, sweaty man in lycra bicycle shorts and a pentecostal christian... upside down the entire way. And the in flight movie is "What's the Worst That Could Happen."

So that was taken care of and I thought I was done visiting the dentist for at least a few months (I had a last round of cleaning needed after the first of the year.) But then I get a call the other day, "Hi, Devon? This is Dr. Marr's office. Ya, so we fucked up that root canal and we need you to come back in so it can be fixed. Don't worry, we won't charge you for it, other than the hour of your life that will be forever lost. How's this Saturday? We'll call the the fat man and the pentecostal."

And to top this all off... THEY DIDN"T EVEN GIVE ME A PRESCRIPTION FOR ANY DECENT NARCOTICS! ONLY CODEINE! Codeine?! I can't wash down 4 of those with a shot of Jack Daniels and hope to accomplish anything! I can't even sell them for all that much to the crack heads that swarm in front of our house!

I'm writing a letter to my congresswoman!

My confidence in the American public is somewhat restored... praise Zeus!

2006-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY!
The Democrats have taken the House for the first time in 12 years. They will probably have the Senate as well (still waiting on the Virginia results of the Webb/Allen race). Rumsfeld is gone also. It would be hard to get any better than this.

This means the congress will now function the way it was meant to. "Oversight" will be the battle cry. NANCY PELOSI will be speaker of the house (first woman speaker in American history). JOHN CONYERS will probably be the head of the Judiciary committee. The Democrats now have the majority of the governorships.

Here is the Democrats chance to really show that they can do things better. America has obviously decided they don't much like the way Republicans have been running the government. The Democrats need to get something done though. If they do, we could see even more gains in two years. Yes I know, A LOT can happen before then but here is their chance to say "You didn't like the way things looked under the Conservatives, here's how WE do things."

Here's what I would like to see happen with the Democrats now in power:
1. Start funding the 911 commission recommendations.
2. Voting reform.
3. Subpoenas looking into the rational for war.
4. GET THE FUCK OUT OF IRAQ... if not now then very very soon.
5. Repeal the torture laws.
6. Stop phone wire tapping.
7. Universal health care anyone?

The Republicans left in congress are going to be in a tough spot. This election very clearly says that the American public is not real keen on this war anymore. Bush isn't going to change what he's doing, so they have to choose between going with their president, or going with the American public. If their track record is any indication, we know what they'll be doing.

They'll probably fight the Democrats every step of the way. They're not ALL gone... yet. That's to be expected, but THEY will now be the one's labeled as "obstructionists."

Huzzah!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
update:

Shortly after posting this AP called Virginia for Webb.

Double Huzzah!!!!!

The Written Word

2006-10-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the horrible unhilariousness of the following post...

So I'm on this reading kick lately. I don't know if it's because the weather is turning crappy and going outside becomes less pleasant, or maybe it's due to my recent discussions about subjects that interest me (thanks Chris) or perhaps it's those ancient Chinese "smartener" pills I've been taking.

Either way, I've got my work cut out for me. I got four new books that I plan on starting (three of which came just today).

1.The Selfish Gene - Richard Dawkins

2.The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins

3.Why Darwin Matters - Michael Shermer

4. Why I am Not a Christian - Bertrand Russell

I've already started the Russell one but it is a series of essays and articles so it will be easy to go away from it and come back later.

I've also recently finished Why People Believe Weird Things by Michael Shermer. Shermer is a great figure in the skeptical and scientific community and a decent writer. I was a bit disappointed by the book though. It started with a good section on "How Thinking Goes Wrong" but then moves away from WHY people believe weird things and into WHAT weird things people believe and how they are wrong. It was a very broad subject and he wasn't able to go very deep into each of the "weird things" that he covered (alien encounters, Ayn Rand objectivism, creationism, holocaust deniers etc.)

Has anyone read any of these? Any thoughts? Which should I start with? What other books might be good to read (Chris, if you say the bible I'm gonna throw a hacky sack at you.) I'd be more than willing to loan one or more out and discuss them when each of us is done. Any takers... I'll need you to leave a major credit card to cover the cost of the lost book... and a couple lunches for me.

Dorks of the world...UNITE

2006-10-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

That's right folks, it's Monday night and that could only mean one thing... No, not the weekly D&D get together in my mom's basement... not glee club practice... not 6 hours of painting gundam models... not even a roll-playing video game marathon.

No, tonight ladies and gentlemen, is Risk night and the hobotown residence. I know you're thinking "Whoa, Risk is super fun AND awesome! That sounds really neat-o!" Well my friend, you'd be right. It will be an epic battle as either Scott, Jamie or I try desperately to conquer the known world. We'll have to use our keen abilities to out-whit, out-smart, and... dare I say... out-last our opponents.

PS... no girls allowed

Songs at My Funeral - a chain letter dies

2006-10-05T14:05:00.000-07:00

First, chain letters are a complete and utter waste of time...

That being said, he's is my contribution to one which I received. Let me start by saying a few things because my intense hatred for chain letters must be acknowledged before I am morally able to continue this post. I am only posting this for a few reasons.

1. Kara is a nag and forced me to.
2. It's a post about music.
3. It doesn't claim to have supernatural powers over my future financial or love life like most chain letters do.
4. I will not be forwarding this on to anyone.
5. This chain letter was originally called a meme, which is a horrible misuse of the word. Re posting this lets me point out when someone else is wrong and I enjoy that. (Don't judge me... you like pointing it out too)
6. No one reads my blog anyway, so I'm talking to myself.

...ok

Now that that is out of the way, here we go... SONGS AT MY FUNERAL

1. Randy Describe Eternity by Built to Spill
Puts a little perspective on things maybe... plus it's a great song.

2. In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly
Come on... you know why.

3. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
This is as sentimental as I'll get for this list.

4. Simply the Best by Tina Turner
Cuz it's my funeral and none of you assholes are going to argue with a dead guy.

and we'll end with...
5. The Devil's Chasin' Me by The Reverend Horton Heat
This one is pretty self explanatory as well.

Shitty week comes to an end

2006-09-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

we had running water for only about 2 out of the last 6 days. i say about because we had a leak in the front and once it was found we had to shut the water off outside and only turn it on long enough to run a quick shower, let the toilet refill, and brush teeth. SUCKY. Once the hole was dug to expose the leaking pipe, leaving the water on would have created a mudslide into the streets and, of course, disaster would have ensued.

now, i'm not generally too much opposed to a little disaster every now and again, but turning the water back off (which the authorities would have eventually made me do) would have involved hip waiters and a safety line. so the land lord has been laboring in our front yard for the last week and occasionally i have to go out and hold a flashlight for him. i doubt i'll get a break on rent for that work, but whatever...

to add to that, kendra and i received 2 parking tickets EACH for a grand total of $176 owed to the city of seattle. SUCKY. we probably should have seen it coming since it's zoned parking right in front and neither of us has the required parking passes. I HATE PARKING TICKETS. and $44 a piece is pretty fuckin' steep. the application fee is only $30-something. (it's a long story why we haven't just gone ahead and gotten the passes and i won't go into it, but it ends with it being this jackass at the transportation department's fault.) ... but it could be worse. i could be living in a carport in front of our house.

well it's off to safeco field where i will probably only semi-legally park my scooter and be pissed off if i get a ticket for it. damn the man, always trying to keep a scooter riddin' brotha down.

word

Vodka tonic anyone?

2006-09-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

so it has been a good month and a half at least since we moved into our new place, but we are finally unpacked so we thought the best thing to do would be to trash the place by throwing a party. all the regular "scenesters" were there as it was the place-to-be last saturday night.

i could go through the list of events point by point, but instead, i think i'll just list the highlights in picture and video format. these need no explanation so there will be none...

Working from home - a brief list.

2006-09-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

So here are the great things about working from home...

*waking up 5 minutes before im supposed to start working.
*wearing whatever I feel is the best thing for that day's work (mostly pajamas and an unshaven face.)
*playing music as loud as I want and occasionally getting up to dance with the dog to a particularly good song. (I recommend "papa was a rolling stone" by the temptations or "don't stop till you get enough" by Michael Jackson.
*when, in the course of the day, it is necessary to yell "FUCK" at the top of my lungs and throw something, I just go ahead and do that.
*not sitting in traffic and yelling "FUCK" while wanting to throw something at the bus that just cut you off on the 520. i'm pretty sure i would have eventually been sent to prison for running someone off the road in a fit of rage.
*all the frozen microwavable lunches i can handle.
*indiana jones movies playing in the background... almost everyday.
*the space in which i spend my day is larger than 8' x 6'.
*you know how late in the day on friday it always crosses your mind "man, this week sucked. i need a drink." ya, i just go ahead and get a drink.
*wasting time writing a pointless blog entry when i should be working.

I love the night life, I gots to boogy

2006-09-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

went and saw a couple of very good bands at the crocodile last night. elvis perkins, cold war kids, and dr. dog. the music was mostly very good. i liked elvis perkins more than dr. dog. and I liked cold war kids better than elvis perkins.

we began the evening as any evening of this nature should, with pbrs at a dive bar down the street from the croc. i had 3 or 4 beers under my belt (or i guess right about at belt level) when cold war kids came on and i had to pee like nobody's business. we were in the front right next to the stage and it was pretty crowded. i hate being the person who has to push through the crowd in the middle of a good band, especially when i literally have to squeeze past every single person in the entire place to get there and back. i very seriously thought about putting my empty beer bottle to good use right there in front of the stage at one point. i didn't. not that it would have bothered me much, but i've tried before with less than sanitary results. plus, i figured 4 beers probably wouldn't fit into one beer bottle anyway.

the first act was elvis perkins. i wonder, is it an asset or a liability to be named elvis if you are trying to make a career in music? i mean, wouldn't it be better to actually name your band something unique than go with your name, which happens to be the most famous name in rock music. regardless, elvis perkins was a lot of fun. kind of folksy / bluesy clap-your-hands-and-stomp-your-feet type stuff. lots of weird instruments and inviting other bands' members on stage for sing-a-longs. good times.

cold war kids rocked. i had a suspicion they would since their music is really good. i was right. they're kind of brit pop meets old r&b. they put on a good show too. here is a music video of theirs. and a link to a live performance at KEXP a couple months ago.

i could take or leave dr. dog though. they're kind of quirky soulful pop. nothing too out of the ordinary and they seemed to be really loose. maybe they wore themselves out with all the tambourine-ing on stage during the other bands... plus their name sucks.

Goodnight Sweet Prince

2006-09-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

So the Cavvy is gone. Sold. It is just a sweet memory now. There will be no more toting the canoe across Washington into Boise, no more 3 hour drives down to Portland, no more running down hobos in the streets, the engine revving as I leave a trail of blood and tears in my wake.

No, the car will now provide that kind of happiness to some other lucky young man. I on the other hand, will be spending about $400 less per month for a car I never used (except for those uses listed above).

And so, we bid thee a fond farewell... may your air filter always be clean... may your tires remain inflated and grippy, and may you never miss when a homeless family of three crosses your path (the arrogant jerks that they are).

...adieu

EVOLUTION IS FACT

2006-09-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

...regardless of whether or not you choose to believe it.

this is a really interesting video of Ken Miller, a biology professor at the university of colorado and devout catholic.

he talks about the inherent flaws with the intelligent design argument (including the bacterial flagellum motor and so-called "irreducible complexity") and some updates on the absolutely shameful attempt by creationists to insert non-science into science class rooms. next they'll be teaching the scientific merit of astrology.

...discuss.

--------------added subsequent to initial post.

Evolution is not without unknowns. SCIENCE is not without unknowns. That's what science is about. It is always changing with new evidence.

So why is it that evolution is being singled out in this case? Why aren't we talking about Einstein's theory of relativity having holes? And why are these attacks on evolution all coming from thinly veiled religious groups.

Christians see evolution as a direct threat to their creation story and therefore a direct threat to their religion. They can't see the two being able to exist at the same time because it's all or nothing to most of them. And it's from that frame of mind that they attack evolution. If one part may not work, the whole thing has to be thrown out.

That's just not how science works. Scientists are constantly re-evaluating evidence, testing hypotheses. Evolution is constantly being tested by a number of different areas of science and it just keeps holding up. Intelligent design collapses under the same scrutiny.

Where is Edward R. Murrow when you need him?

2006-09-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen much of Keith Olbermann's show as I don't really have television. But the little bit I have seen leads me to believe that he seems like possibly one of the most reasonable mainstream TV journalist around these days.

I'm sure he wasted his fair share of time on the whole Jon Mark Karr fiasco, but pieces like this one above give one hope that jounalists actually DOING THEIR FUCKING JOB might still be profitable and popular.

...by the way, throwawayyourtv.com is an excellent sight for TV clips of various kinds.

Entry #1.

2006-08-26T18:55:00.000-07:00

welcome to this joyous occasion! this blog is the bastard child of both bordom and a need to constantly complain about something. I may be complaining about music, movies, politics... but rest assured, i will have something. I hope you enjoy.

ps im glad this thing has spell check